Clint the book!

Third edition

Launched in late 2008, editions 1, 2 and 3 have long sold out and edition 4.0, containing over 5000 names, will follow suit in a few months. 


First Edition,
"It all began when a friend of mine asked me what I thought of the name Murray as a potential boyfriend for her. I rolled the name over in my mind a few times, and quickly pictured the 'Murray' metaphor, that being of someone dropping a bucket of mud, whereby the mud then slops up and hits you in the face. It was based on every story, rumour  (1st, 2nd and 3rd hand) I'd ever heard or seen of Murray in my life, in conjunction with having a gut-feeling about how the name sounded when I said it.

"Anyway, the joke grew and grew to the point where I realised there was more going on here than met the eye. On a trip to Italy, later, i sat down and got to work."

Second Edition

Is it the most judgmental comedy ever written?
Nope. Reactionary, sure, but not judgemental. In any case, don't we all make judgements about every tiny aspect of our own lives? From the people we kiss to the milk we buy?

Is it accurate?
Yes, to the tune of between 60-90%, but it's a comedy. It's not for the faint-hearted!

What's it for?
I suggest you read the back cover, above, but most of all, it's a comedy about us, about life and about the world we live in, and which too many of us take too seriously. 
In point form, it's used to:
-name babies
-ice breaker at dinner parties/workshops/training events
-waiting rooms at doctors/vets/psychiatrists/hospitals/private detective agencies/cafes/bars
-people use it to pick up (great way to introduce yourself at a bar or party)
- used in job interviews, both by the interviewers and the interviewees
-used to print up names as place mats at weddings/christmas day


Some examples from the book.....

Jodie: The gorgeous-looking feral cat. You better make sure you feed her well and stay out of her way if she's in a bad mood, then you'll be fine.

Ken: Ken rhymes with brick.

Tristan: At the moment of orgasm, Tristan yells out, "Oh, Tristan! GO Tristan, GO!"

Fi (short for Fiona): "Get out of my way!" she barks, heading for the bar/party/car keys/swimming pool/dance floor/front of the queue/anything.

Aaron: The conniving little shit who squeals like a piglet when he doesn't get what he wants. If he loses a game of badminton, for example, he'll often belt the victor in the face with his racquet.

Liz: In a past life her name was Geoff.

Ryan: The affable tradie' who parties so hard on the weekend he sometimes does himself damage.


"I once sold a copy of this book to a man who took it to the pub. He spotted a bunch of girls and busted into the group, asking all of them their names. They laughed so hard he ended up dating one of them. When I met him for the second time he was standing next to this girl who was his fiancee.

That story is just the tip of the iceberg as to what this book has done so far....

Having sold the book in person for five years, I've been fortunate to have had long conversations with literally around 100,000 people about who they are, where they're from and what makes them tick. Equally fascinating are the stories that come back to me from people who have either bought the book before or knew someone who had.

Several times I've had people in my stall in tears at a name on the wall which accurately (and thankfully, comically) described a friend or a loved one who had passed away. 

I've sold several books to people who were dying themselves, and the humour and affection shared in these moments isn't something I can describe properly, really. 

Plenty of people use the theories in the book to print up place mats at dinner parties. Indeed, the best story i ever heard of this was from a kiwi couple. Another couple related the story to me because they were there, but apparently, two years earlier, a couple had bought the book from me at the Eumundi Markets before returning to New Zealand where they were married. Unbeknown to me, they took the time to print up every wedding guests' name taken directly from the book as a personalised place mat for the wedding reception. Apparently it broke down all the barriers of everyone in under a minute and from all accounts it was an amazing day. 

As for the stories of pregnant people and school teachers using the book.....i'd be here for days. Funnily enough, a few years back Kevin Rudd, the then Prime Minister and Malcolm Turnbull, the opposition leader at the time, both possessed copies of the book.

Overall, with regards to the book and how i wrote it, I completely ignored all historical references, precedents and meanings of names, and in that regard it's modern, it's subjective and, most of all, it's bloody funny.

David Hocking

2017




















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